Reality...Not TV
I had a very disturbing Sunday evening. My wife and I had the unfortunate experience of finding my neighbour, who decided to take his life, as well as his faithful dogs' life, by shooting his dog and then himself in the head. It is an image I will probably never forget. I will also never forget the sound of the gunshots on Friday morning just after the alarm went off at 6am. I certainly never thought at the time that those shots were his last.
I don't bring this up for any sympathy for me. Yes, Monday was a disturbing day for me, but not even close to what his family would be going through. I bring this up because of the hurt that his actions caused for many people, and how maybe it could have been avoided. He was in his late 70's or early 80's. His wife died about 6 years ago I believe. He had three grown children. The police told me it looked premeditated as he left contact names out for them to find. My heart and prayers go out to his family.
I bring this up to let you know that death looks just like it does on TV, but it is real and not TV. TV has desensitized people from violence and death. When you see someone die on TV the last thing you think about is family. Chances are he or she had one, but on TV they are just anonymous people. It is a sad society when life just becomes like someone on a video game or TV show...Disposable.
Well...Life isn't disposable and people shouldn't treat it as such. I don't know why he would have done what he did but it hurt many people. I feel for him because he felt he had to do that. I feel for his family because they didn't have a chance to say goodbye. I feel for Treff, his very faithful dog who was just an innocent victim.
On a better note, the next morning there were 4 deer about 20 feet outside the kitchen window. One was eating the seeds that fell out of the bird feeders while the others watched for predators. The deer who was eating looked at me a number of times but obviously didn't see me as a threat. Nika, our outside dog, just lay on the ground and watched them. Maybe God was trying to tell me something...That life goes on and life can be beautiful, even in disturbing times. It did make me feel wonderful to see wildlife that close, that trusting. I think life is worth living. Too bad my neighbour thought differently.
9 comments:
wow... that's heavy man... I wonder what his reasons were.
I mean, maybe it made sense to him. Maybe he was falling into dementia and didn't want his children's last memories of him to be like that.
Really nothing to say that can add anything to this post, Lorne, but I wanted you to know I read what you wrote so movingly, and can at least dimly imagine what you must have been through.
Cibby,
He wasn't anywhere near dementia. Really, nobody really knows what brings a person to do that to himself. The last few seconds before he did it, you have to wonder what he was thinking. Perhaps he was thinking that he lived a long life and maybe he just felt there was nothing left to accomplish. Who knows.
David,
Thanks for your trying to understand my feelings. But again, my feelings are only the tip of the iceberg compared to his family's feelings. I am doing much better now and finally got some decent sleep last night. One day it may affect me again but hopefully not. His family has expressed their concern for us for seeing him the way he ended up, but really I feel more for them because they didn't get to say goodbye. The next time were together I should talk about it. The note that I sent you Monday is the film that kept playing in my head....just like a bad movie.
Our media definitely plays down the importance and value of an individual's life.
We met the oldest son tonight. He thanked us for what we have done and he and his wife brought us over a gift. Dawn made a couple of meals for them and took them over on Monday so this was their thanks. They seemed very nice. We will get to know them a bit better as they are staying until the house sells. It is already listed.
My sympathies go to you and your wife as you had to witness such a sad scene. I'll be praying for this man's family today.
Your post reminded me of when I discovered my next door neighbour, dead. It was very sobering as it was the 40-something man's father who knocked on our door to ask if I had seen his son in the past couple days. His son had missed a weekly family get-together so he had come to see what happened. I witnessed the grief in the father as the apartment manager opened the door and the father found his lifeless son in his bed. I wanted to give this poor man anything he needed - it ended up just being a glass of water and a seat to sit on. I remember feeling so powerless to effect the things I wanted to do to help this poor father.
Thank you for the beautiful images of life as well.
Thanks Zaak. Were over the shock of it now. It still plays like a bad movie but the scary part has been seen many times now so it doesn't scare us any more. It is just too bad it had to happen. But it did, nothing we can do about it...time to move on.
Wow, It has been a while since I have been able to read your blog. I would have commented sooner. I just don't know what to say really. I pray the experience will somehow bring you closer to your own family.
Wow. Not much else I can say, other than moving post.
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