Ten Things About Life
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006
We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America and Canada but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration
7 comments:
Did you come up with those yourself? Pretty damn funny...
I didn't come up with them but I sure thought they were funny also. I think they are funny because of the truth in them.
I disagree with #8. We have a third state. Sleepy. It usually occurs after horny and hungry.
I like the Internet one, but my favourite is still: "Light a fire for a man and he's warm for a day. Set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life". ;)
I worked for Alberta Ag for 2 years doing the payments for the cattle programs. I think the slaughter monitoring process is thankfully pretty effective. However, as far as the payment process went, the slaughter companies (all American owned) would milk the government as much as possible. It was difficult to keep track of all the cattle payments that went out. And cattle are easier to keep track of than illegal immigrants.
Oh yeah, my dad told me this, I'm not sure how much truth there is to it but apparently Canada's and the US's government turns a blind eye to a certain amount of illegal immigration. Illegal immigrants will work for very low wages, thus providing workers who will work at 3rd world levels, but conveniently located within the country.
They say perception is everything. If the governments let us actually know the truth, I'm sure we wish we didn't.
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